Red Clay Suzie By Jeffrey Dale Lofton

 

Orlando Montoya: Coming up in this episode.

Peter Biello: I'm willing to bet that because of these two things about him he's picked on, he's a target by other kids.

Orlando Montoya: Yes, he's bullied, and not just from other kids from his family as well.

Jeffrey Dale Lofton: I write for at risk youth. That's my that's my mission to write stories that show that you don't have to be perfect.

Orlando Montoya: Yeah. So this goes on for two years, this infatuation. And you wonder all this time, like here I'm saying, "how is it going to end?"

Peter Biello: This podcast from Georgia Public Broadcasting highlights books with Georgia connections, hosted by two of your favorite public radio book nerds, who also happen to be your hosts of All Things Considered on GPB radio. I'm Peter Biello.

Orlando Montoya:  And I'm Orlando Montoya. Thanks for joining us as we introduce you to authors, their writings, and the insights behind their stories, mixed with our own thoughts and ideas on just what gives these works the Narrative Edge.

Peter Biello: All right, Orlando, I hear you have a coming-of-age story today.

Orlando Montoya: Yes, indeed a coming-of-age story. It's about a boy growing up in rural West Georgia in the 1960s and 1970s. It's a real emotionally rich tale, a tale with a lot of inner struggle. And it's the kind of story that keeps you wondering how is it going to end? And it's called Red Clay Suzie by Jeffrey Dale Lofton.

Peter Biello: Okay. And is this a novel or is a memoir?

Orlando Montoya: This is a work of fiction based on truth.

Peter Biello: Based on truth and a coming-of-age story. So what ages are we talking about?

Orlando Montoya: Well, we're talking about the boy's childhood and adolescence from his earliest moments that he can remember — I think he's about 4 years old — until just after he finishes high school. So he's about 18 years old. And I mentioned struggle. You know, everybody struggles. But this kid has two big facts to deal with. First of all, he is physically misshapen.

Peter Biello: Oh.

Orlando Montoya: He was born with a deformity. His chest sort of caves in and he's got like a hole in his chest. And one of the bones kind of sticks out. And he also is gay. And he finds this out through his childhood, through his adolescence, over and over a number of years. And his name is Philbet.

Peter Biello: Okay. And I'm willing to bet that because of these two things about him he's picked on, he's a target by other kids.

Orlando Montoya: Yes, he's bullied, and not just from other kids, from his family as well.

Peter Biello: Ugh!

Orlando Montoya: It's terrible. I think one of his uncles was the one who gave him the name Suzie, which is where we get the title of the book — Red Clay for the red clay of West Georgia. And Suzie, you know, he was kind of effete. He was kind of a dandy. So, one of his uncles gave him that unfortunate name. He was fascinated by cars as a kid. And he loved these Matchbox cars. Did you play with those?

Peter Biello: Oh, yeah, I know Matchbox cars. I didn't play with them, but I did know what they were. Some kids went nuts over these things, but I wasn't one of those kids.

Orlando Montoya: He went nuts. He dreams about cars. He talks about cars endlessly, thinks about cars all the time. And well into adolescence, when most kids have given up childish things, he kind of holds on to the cars, and his parents don't understand that. It's one of many things that his parents don't understand about Philbet.

Peter Biello: Yeah, I imagine he's got to keep a huge part of himself secret from them because he's — he's gay. He's got these feelings.

Orlando Montoya: Well, he doesn't even know for a long time. He's a kid. He's a kid. He knows he likes boys. He doesn't understand why boys can't marry girls. There's a scene in the book where he blurts out that I might marry a boy one day, and everybody laughs, and he's pulled over to the side and says, don't say that ever again. So he — he knows that, but he doesn't understand, sort of. You know, it's kind of like, there's a time in your life when the light switches on for everybody else, but it doesn't switch on for you. And that's what happens. He can't tell anybody about this. And then he meets Knox. Knox is 18 years old. A neighbor of Philbet. And Philbet at this time is 14 years old. And this is where I'll also introduce you to the author, Jeffrey Dale Lofton.

Jeffrey Dale Lofton: Well, he is very sheltered. That's the world that he is in. And because of his physical challenges and because he feels like an outsider, he doesn't engage. He hides himself away from the world. And it is the — the discovery of an older boy who he is — he's besotted with this, this boy named Knox. He doesn't feel worthy of the attention of Knox, but it awakens in him something that he knows is more than he's ever experienced and is — and represents, I think, the world outside of the small conservative community they live in.

Orlando Montoya: So Knox basically lives at a junkyard. His family repairs cars. 

Peter Biello: Oh, perfect.

Orlando Montoya: Yeah, he — he repairs cars. And so this becomes, you know, something that they — they talk about, and —

Peter Biello: And it's such a masculine excuse to be together, right? Traditionally masculine. "Let's go work on the car together."

Orlando Montoya: Yeah. They're underneath the car. They're getting their hands greasy. And Philbet learns to repair cars with Knox. He rides in Knox's car and let me tell you what kind of car Knox drives.

Peter Biello: Okay.

Orlando Montoya: GTO. A GTO.

Peter Biello: That's hot.

Orlando Montoya: Philbet loves the GTO. He learns how to drive from Knox, and then when Philbet is 16 years old, he gets a VW Bug of his own. And together they fix up the Bug and they outfit the Bug.

Peter Biello: So this — this sounds incredibly cute. So they're in love, right? Philbet is at least in love with Knox. Maybe Knox doesn't love him.

Orlando Montoya: It's an infatuation.

Peter Biello: 'Cause Knox is not gay.

Orlando Montoya: We don't know that.

Peter Biello: We don't know.

Orlando Montoya: We don't know that at this point. You know, Knox could be gay. He could not be gay.

Peter Biello: So Philbets trying to, like, read the signs, right?

Orlando Montoya: At this point, Knox is just someone who makes him happy. Knox is just someone he likes to be around. He wants to be Knox. You've had this experience. You think about this person all the time. "Where is his car? Is that the sound of his car coming?" You know.

Peter Biello: You think you see it when it's actually not it.

Orlando Montoya: Yeah. So this goes on for two years, this infatuation. And you wonder all this time, like, here I'm saying, "how is it going to end? Is Knox gay? What will Knox's reaction be even if he is?" You know, think about this at this time. Philbet is 16 and Knox is 20. There is a big difference between 16 and 20. Not like — not like when I met my first boyfriend when I was 24 and he was 28.

Peter Biello: Yeah. As you get older, the difference doesn't mean as much.

Orlando Montoya: I think there's a legal difference between 16 and 20.

Peter Biello: Certainly yeah. Yeah, well, I know you're not going to tell me how it ends. I think that's the purpose of the suspense of the book here. But — but even if it ends badly, I have to think that Philbet has other friends, maybe other infatuations as well, right? People he can lean on?

Orlando Montoya: Sort of, he has, a sort of proto infatuation with a boy named Wright, but this is much earlier, much younger. And Wright rejects Philbet. And in that rejection, again, he learns a lesson. You're not supposed to like boys like that. But he does have a best friend. The best friend is James. James is Black. And so because James is Black, James can't come over to Philbet's house. Philbet can't go over to James' house. The father doesn't like James at all. And this is based, like I said, on a real-life story.

Jeffrey Dale Lofton: I decided to fictionalize it because I wanted to — I wanted to explore alternate endings to some of the stories. For example, the friend James. I did not have that friend growing up. There was a boy. He — he was Black, and I knew on some level that it would not be OK for us to be friends with each other, and I didn't approach him. And James, of course, in the book, he is, I think, he's the wisest character. He's funny as all get out. He is an outsider as Philbet is, because he — he lives in a world where racism is just a fact of life, and they are drawn together in that outsider role that they both fill. I didn't have the courage to approach him because I didn't think he'd want to be my friend. That's how little I thought of myself.

Peter Biello: Wow, so he doesn't think much of himself. Seems like a lot of self-loathing. I know people in his situation have felt that from time to time. So I gotta ask: suicide. Is there a — is there a mention of suicide in this book?

Orlando Montoya: No. And that was surprising to me. You know, based on my own personal experience, like a lot of gay teens, I was incredibly depressed. Hopeless. And I did attempt suicide on two occasions.

Peter Biello: I'm sorry to hear that.

Orlando Montoya: And in this particular case, Philbet, it's just that Philbet, although he's different and although he is alone and he is sad, he also knows that his — that his feelings are not wrong and he knows this innately and no one's explaining this to him. Now, I had this explained to me because I read books, I watched television, I very distinctly remember, you know, the first time I was listening on the radio and I heard a person my age, call in and ask about being gay and being reassured that this is not bad and things will get better. And that actually related to my career in radio because I had this sort of very intimate experience with the radio. So I had this explained to me. Philbet did not. And so I wondered, how did Philbet know, right? Back then, you know, in this particular place, how did Philbet know this? And I asked the author and it turns out that Philbet knew because it's fiction.

Jeffrey Dale Lofton: It is a book based on true and inspired by true-life events. That was not my experience. I wanted to create a story that affirmed who we are and what makes us unique in the world. And I wanted this — this young man, this boy, this young man to know that what he was, was OK. Was not only okay, but it was a good thing. And so I intentionally gave him that idea that whatever this is, whatever it turns out to be, it is right. It is wonderful and there's no reason to be ashamed of it.

Orlando Montoya: So in your experience growing up, it was shame.

Jeffrey Dale Lofton: My life was doused, imbued, colored with shame all the way through.

Peter Biello: So it sounds like the author, Jeffrey Dale Loften, is kind of taking his own bad experience and really turning it around.

Orlando Montoya: Exactly. And in some ways, that's how the author's life was, how he describes it in the book, and in other ways, it's how his life could have been and how it can be today for young readers.

Jeffrey Dale Lofton: I write for at-risk youth. That's my — that's my mission: to write stories that show that you don't have to be perfect to be happy. You don't have to be perfect to live your life. And, like, here's a — here's an interesting statistic. 39% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered suicide last year, and 12% of them actually attempted it. And when I learned that, it just — it shocked me. I can't even describe how surprised I was. And so I write — in this book in particular, is a roadmap of sorts. It's not a roadmap for cars, but a roadmap for the heart and mind to help those kids who struggle now, as I did when I was younger, to know that there is a way forward.

Peter Biello: There is a way forward. So that sounds like it could be a motto.

Orlando Montoya: That is a motto of sorts. Have you heard of the "It Gets Better" project?

Peter Biello: I have, I have heard of the It Gets Better project.

Orlando Montoya: Yeah. National campaign 2010 on YouTube. The idea is we tell kids that "yes, things suck right now" and we know because you can't invalidate somebody's truth. It sucks right now, but it does get better. And speaking of, It Gets Better. I want to transition to fun and joy in this book. You know, it's not all doom and gloom.

Peter Biello: Yeah, it sounds like there are some moments, right? There's at least working on cars, the camaraderie. But are there other ones, too?

Orlando Montoya: Yeah, I mean, it's, uh, I think the most joyous part about this book is the writing. It's the kind of writing that paints the pictures in your mind. We're talking dirt roads. We're talking woods, junkyards, cars. Knox.

Peter Biello: Yeah, yeah, Knox is a big one.

Orlando Montoya: He's a very visual writer. A joy to read. Anything involving James is funny. James is a clown. He — he tells jokes. He talks about white and Black people and about boys and girls in ways that are just honest and funny. And let's remember, these are kids for a good part of the book. So, you know, there's wee-wee there's pee-pee and there's all that. It can be funny.

Peter Biello: Sure.

Orlando Montoya: And anything involving the grandfather, the grandfather in this book, it's poignant moments. He teaches lessons without teaching lessons. And there are stories that he has, including one early on, about potatoes and how the best potatoes are the misshapen ones. Because when the potato is in the ground, it has to work through the rocks and the bugs. And so that's how they get misshapen. And because they have to work harder, they — they are the best ones. And that's true for anything, any living creature.

Peter Biello: Two things about that. One, that is an adorable way to explain it. And two, one of my biggest regrets in life is not having an old Southern grandfather.

Orlando Montoya: I knew you wanted a mawmaw and a pawpaw.

Peter Biello: I totally did. But especially a Southern granddad. Right, grandpa? You know, like, give me all the Southern advice. I need it, I need it.

Orlando Montoya: And by the way, this book has mama and papa and mawmaw and pawpaw. So they're all different people.

Peter Biello: All right, so, you talk about the grandfather. Sounds like an awesome character. Were there any other characters that helped Philbet?

Orlando Montoya: Well, there's the mother, of course. The mother is protective. The mother takes Philbet to the doctor, and gets him a prosthetic to help cover up his deformity. She defends him when he wants to design cars. He figures out that he doesn't just want to repair cars, he wants to design them like an artist. And the father is like, yeah, you're not. You can't get a job like dad. An artist, you know?

Peter Biello: Really? Sounds like such a fun job.

Orlando Montoya: And then the mother defends him, and — But, you know, the mother is constrained by her place in society at that time.

Peter Biello: Why should people read this book? What gives it the Narrative Edge?

Orlando Montoya: Well, it comes from the heart. It comes from a place of kindness and understanding. And again, it's this constant "How is this going to end?" The genius. I think, of this book is that the narrator, Philbet, is telling the story from the perspective of the end of the book. He's 18. He knows the whole story, but the way he tells the story chapter by chapter, it's as if he's the age that he is in the chapter, if you understand what I'm saying. So it's kind of like the language that he uses, the information that he drops, hints that are made along the way. And will Knox reject Philbet? Will Philbet find love? Will Philbet come out of the closet? How? What will the reaction be? And will he follow his family's narrow ambitions in Warm Springs, or will he leave? So no spoilers, as we typically don't do. But, it does give hope. And that's what the author — and I — lacked in those tender years.

Jeffrey Dale Lofton: I struggled, I hid myself, I hid my physical self. I hid my emotions, my heart. And it was not easy. I — I actually some mornings look in the mirror and I am grateful but surprised that I'm still here.

Orlando Montoya: And so I'm glad that Jeffrey Dale Lofton is still here. And glad I'm here to tell you about Jeffrey Dale Lofton and his book, Red Clay Suzie.

Peter Biello: Well, we're glad you're here as well and certainly glad that this book exists. It seems like it's one of those books that people need. You know, there are books that are entertaining and fun, and then there are books that are both those things and badly needed. So this seems like one of them. Orlando, thanks for telling us about the book and for sharing a bit of yourself as well.

Orlando Montoya: My pleasure. Thanks for listening to Narrative Edge. We'll be back in two weeks with a brand-new episode. This podcast is a production of Georgia Public Broadcasting. Find us online at GPB.org/NarrativeEdge.

Peter Biello: You can also catch us on the daily GPB News podcast Georgia Today for a concise update on the latest news in Georgia. For more on that and all of our podcasts, go to GPB.org/Podcasts.