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When It Comes To Coronavirus, Don't Put Off What Matters Most
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When you work in the “news business” it can be extremely difficult to take time off. There’s hurricane season, election season, and now the coronavirus. Months can slip by as you wait for the “best time” to plan a vacation or a trip to see the people you love.
I had booked a trip to Connecticut to see my 95-year-old mom who is in a nursing home — before the pandemic.
Before you feel sorry for her let me point out that despite her age and history of strokes, she has a “nursing home” boyfriend and is fortunate to be at Nathaniel Witherell in Greenwich, Connecticut, with its amazing staff and lots of activities. My two sisters, one from Connecticut and the other from Utah, would be there as well and of course as a bonus I would also get to spend time with my daughter, who lives in Manhattan.
Last Friday my sisters, daughter and I took the time to visit the Museum of Modern Art and have Ukrainian food. We took the subway but used precautions recommended at the time by health officials, lots of hand sanitizer and staying away from those who might be sneezing, coughing or otherwise ill.
The week wrapped up with a baby shower being held in my niece’s honor at a hotel with a beautiful cake and a brunch buffet.
However, the main reason for my visit was to spend several days with the freedom to go see my mom as much as I wanted in the nursing home. I recognize that I am very lucky to still have her at age 95, but it does not mean I love her any less and worry about the day when I will no longer have her. As a parent ages that stark reality looms ever larger with each passing year.
She has aphasia, which means communication is a challenge. Meaningful phone calls must now be FaceTime and facilitated by my sister.
During the week I read emails from work as the coronavirus unfolded in Georgia. I resisted the temptation to jump in and help as I watched my colleagues work long hours and file multiple stories.
I kept my commitment to unplug and be “present.” It’s a decision I will never regret.
The day that I left Connecticut, my daughter, two sisters, niece and I spent over an hour visiting my mom, laughing about our hands being dried out from all the hand sanitizer we’d been applying all week. During the week we watched a movie with her, brought her a chocolate shake and caught up on the latest family news by looking at photos on Instagram.
When you have 17 grandchildren, there’s a lot to catch up on. As I left I kissed her on the top of her head and told her I would, “see her soon.”
I flew home Sunday night and the next day the state of Connecticut issued an order that effective immediately visitors would no longer be allowed at elder care facilities, unless the person’s family member was, “on hospice or end-of-life care.”
Essentially the nursing home was shut down to all but the most critical visitors.
Sometimes it pays not to wait to do the important things in our lives and the timing of this is certainly not lost on me.
In the coming weeks and months our newsroom will still be talking about the impacts of the Coronavirus, but the opportunity to spend time with my mother may not come again. Life is tenuous and priorities need to be in the right place. This is one of those times I’m grateful that I trusted my gut and left work behind.
Now I’m back and the news goes on.
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