Many Afghan men believe in women's rights. But they're afraid to speak out

After the Taliban marched into Kabul in August, 2021, Zahir gathered 40 members of his extended family in the living room to discuss how the takeover would affect their lives. Twenty-five of them were girls and women. “I told them that I understand that they are suffering now, and that I and all the men this family are with you,” recalls Zahir, a 45-year-old public service professional. “We couldn’t stop crying.” (He asked that only his first name be used since the Taliban has a history of targeting people who criticize their policies.)

Despite stereotypes of Afghanistan as a deeply conservative and male-dominated society, Zahir is far from the only Afghan man to express support for Afghan women. While few Afghan men have voiced their protest of the Taliban’s regressive policies in public, a survey published in July revealed that a significant percent of them, including those that support the Taliban, are in favor of basic human rights for women.

Among more than 7,500 Afghans living in the country with access to mobile and internet services, the survey found, 66% said they agreed or strongly agreed that human rights for women were a top priority for the future of Afghanistan. Nearly half, or 45% of those, strongly supported the Taliban’s control of the country.

The majority of Afghans agree that women’s rights should be a national priority, says Charli Carpenter, professor of political science and legal studies at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst, and one of the authors of the new study.

“Most of the Afghan population really don’t approve of the gender apartheid that the Taliban has inflicted on women,” Carpenter says. “What we saw just across the board was sweeping support for women’s human rights.”

Support for girls

Since taking over Afghanistan in August 2021, the Taliban have imposed severe restrictions on women’s rights and freedoms. In successive decrees over the years, the militant group has banned high-school and University-level education for women. Women can’t participate in politics. And they are banned from visiting parks or travelling without a male guardian.

Three years since the Taliban took control of Kabul, at least 1.4 million girls over age 12 have been denied access to education, according to new data from UNESCO released this week. In total, nearly 2.5 million, or 80% of school-age girls in Afghanistan are not able to go to school.

“Women and girls make up 50% of our population,” says Rahmani, an academic from Afghanistan who has helped many women academics find opportunities to leave the country to continue their work. “They had a vital role in all sectors, from politics to society, from the economy to technology and culture, government and private. They were contributing immensely to crucial research and academia and their absence has a visible impact on the overall economy and stability of the country.” (Like Zahir, he asked that only his first name be used to avoid being targeted by the Taliban.)

Men sometimes do protest

Most anti-Taliban protests that have taken place in Afghanistan in the last three years have been led by women. But there have also been several instances of Afghan men mobilizing against the Taliban’s restriction on women.

In Paktika province on the Pakistan border, for example, Afghan men joined the women in their families in demonstrations in October 2022, demanding the reopening of girls’ schools in the country, according to local news reports. When women were banned from universities a few months later, male students across various provinces walked out of their classes in support of their female classmates, while over 60 male professors resigned from their positions. Similarly, education activists like Matiullah Wesa and Ismail Mashal have led regular campaigns across the country encouraging men to speak up in favor of women’s rights.

The new study highlighted strong support for women’s rights among Afghan fathers, reaffirming the so-called "First Daughter" theory established by Western studies in the past. According to this theory, having an eldest daughter can affect attitudes or behavior toward women’s rights. Studies from the U.S., Canada and Turkey have shown that men who have daughters, particularly as their first child, are also less likely to be domestic abusers.

“What we found that those who reported that their eldest child was a daughter had stronger leaning toward women rights than those without children or than those with sons,” Carpenter says. “Even Taliban supporters believe this, and particularly men. So the Taliban are really out of step with the Afghan people as a whole when it comes to women’s human rights.”

The Taliban takeover has reinforced the patriarchy in Afghanistan, says Mariam Safi, founding director of the Organization for Policy Research and Development Studies, a research-based NGO in Afghanistan that is working to facilitate the country’s transition to democratic governance. And the new numbers also show that. “Yes, there probably is a shift in perception of gender equality and gender roles,” she says. “But at the same time what data shows to us is that it is not a complete, 100% change in attitudes of Afghan men”

The obstacles ahead

Despite the support that Afghan men express for women in conversations and surveys, obstacles remain, including the threat of retaliation. Activists Wesa and Mashal were detained and tortured by the Taliban for their support of women’s rights, according to news reports, as was Zahir when the Taliban caught whiff of his secret schools, he says.

A decree issued in 2022 punishes the mahram, the male guardian, of women who are found violating the Taliban’s laws. Most men are afraid of the consequences of supporting Afghan women’s rights, Zahir says, even when they support women’s rights. “The fear of the Taliban means that we are in a situation where they can’t do anything,” he says, “lest something happens to their families.”

For now, people are looking for ways to continue educating girls, often through secret and online schools. After Zahir was arrested for running a secret school for neighborhood girls in the hours before dawn, the school has resumed holding classes discretely. Rahmani, too, helped his sister continue her medical course online by ensuring she had access to internet and other resource. He is also looking for scholarship opportunities to help the girls in his family study abroad.

The future is still uncertain, Safi says. “We’re still in limbo,” she says. “We're still grappling with these new conditions in many ways.”

Ruchi Kumar is a journalist who reports on conflict, politics, development and culture in India and Afghanistan. She tweets at @RuchiKumar