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These matchmakers connect teens and elders. The friendships benefit both sides
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When Andrea Levitt, 82, first met Angelo Williams, 16, at a cookies-and-tea event in New York City a few months ago, she was feeling down. She lives alone and has been more isolated in recent years, ever since her son and his family moved away.
"I remember being at the table with Angelo and he was so funny, it completely got me out of my depression," she says. "And the best thing - I'm a big basketball fan, and Angelo liked basketball."
Angelo says that's just one thing they bonded over.
"We really just hit it off, you know…at first Andrea was talking about when she was younger she met a lot of these celebrities at the time, and she was really into theater…we really connected over that."
He says his older sister used to go around New York seeking her own celebrity sightings. "[Andrea] was really impressed that she met Taylor Swift," he says.
Today the pair are talking to each other over Zoom, but they met in person through a nonprofit organization called Dorot, which is the Hebrew word for 'generations.'
Dorot, a nonprofit that has been operating for decades, is being joined by newer organizations with similar missions to pair older people and younger people for the benefit of both. The mission has a new sense of urgency in light of an epidemic of loneliness and isolation that was exacerbated by the pandemic and has serious consequences.
"Loneliness is far more than just a bad feeling—it harms both individual and societal health," U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy writes in his 2023 advisory report on the issue, noting that it increases mortality risk to the level of someone who smokes 15 cigarettes a day.
Good discussions, lasting bonds
Andrea, who spent her career working in New York's garment industry, says the organization has been particularly valuable to her in the years since her son, his wife and her grandsons went to Milwaukee for his job.
"That was tough," she says. "Still is."
She misses her family a lot. So she says it's been great to get out and meet teenagers like Angelo.
She says they have connected despite the age gap and the fact that they're not related, which surprised her at first. "I find that I have things in common with them and we can have some really good discussions," she says. She's still in touch with a young woman she met years before through Dorot. The girl was a teen when Andrea met her and is now in her first job after college.
"Artificial silos"
Donna Butts is executive director of Generations United, which works to make US society less segregated by age, and to get the generations together.
"When you think about the way that we create communities…policies, the way we build services and infrastructure, we do it age-graded," she says, "which really has built up some artificial silos and barriers between the generations."
Think senior centers and senior living communities.
She says efforts to set up the young and old are much needed, in part because the US's demographics are changing.
"Older adults are more likely to be white and younger people are more likely to be of color," she says. "And if we don't connect them and they don't learn to invest in each other and care about each other, it doesn't bode well for us."
Zoom, too
That caring relationship can grow online as well as in person.
Dana Griffin launched her intergenerational platform, Eldera, just as COVID hit in 2020. With Eldera, older adults meet for weekly mentoring sessions over Zoom with kids from 6 to 17 years old. She says some of the mentors don't get out much. They have reported that when they have virtual dates with their mentees, it changes their whole day.
"They shower, they brush their hair, they get dressed up, they tidy up," says Griffin. "And once they start feeling they're valuable to a kid, they start leaving the house more if they're able to."
She says these relationships with the young remind older people of their worth in the world.
"Let me tell you, when an older adult is five minutes late on their Zoom and the kid chews them [out] saying, 'I've been waiting for you. Where were you?' they feel seen. They feel like they matter," she says, in a society that often devalues people once they reach their later years.
But these pairings aren't just about making older people feel good. Griffin says the benefits go both ways. She says kids need a sympathetic, non-judgmental ear — someone other than their parents. She says Eldera's data shows the teens who keep their mentor relationships into college spend more time talking to those older adults than ever: two hours a week on average.
"They really need to talk about everything," she says, "from the roommate, to campus life, to majors, through dating."
Right now, Eldera is funded by investors and fees from its members. Both older adults and the parents of the kids who use the service pay $10 a month. The company is in talks with the Cleveland Clinic, which is considering offering a subscription to Eldera to kids and older people who may be feeling lonely and isolated. Griffin says she hopes that ultimately Eldera will be eligible for funding through government programs such as Medicare and Medicaid.
Basketball buddies
Angelo Williams is an outgoing type, not someone who spends hours alone on his phone. He signed up for Dorot's summer internship for teens, initially assuming that getting to know people in their 70s, 80s, and 90s was mostly about him helping them. But after meeting Andrea Levitt and others, he's discovered something.
"You get to learn a lot about somebody else and also like, keep their stories with you, and even learn from their experiences and get really great advice," he says.
Even when you do support different teams. Despite decades of living in New York, Andrea's got her eye on Milwaukee these days. Her son works for the Milwaukee Bucks.
"Please root for the Bucks," she tells Angelo as the two of them get off their Zoom call. "I know you're a Knick fan, but, you know…"
"Oh man," says Angelo. "I will have to say, I hope the Knicks have this year!"
They hope to go to a game together this season.
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