After a roast, comic Nikki Glaser says she needs to cleanse her brain

From addiction to depression to sex, comic Nikki Glaser doesn't shy away from sensitive subjects. She says the goal of her comedy is to "mention the unmentionable."

"My only motivation for what I write and what I say on stage is to make people laugh, but also just be honest and say the thing that I'm frustrated more people aren't saying," Glaser says. "I've found stand-up as a rebellion to all those kind of awkward silent moments."

Sex is a recurring theme throughout Glaser's stand up — a focus she attributes to all the fears she felt about sex when she was younger: "that I was going to be bad at it, that I was going to get made fun of, that I was going to do it wrong." She says she hopes her comedy helps fill an information void that young women face.

"The places where we find out [about sex], it's either sex-ed [class] or porn and there's nothing in between," Glaser says. "And neither of those are really realistic representations of sex."

Glaser's new Emmy-nominated HBO special is Someday You'll Die. She made headlines in May at the roast of Tom Brady, in which she joked about Brady's divorce from Gisele Bündchen and his losing $30 million in crypto currency.

"I don't know why anyone signs up [to be roasted]," Glaser says. "In terms of Tom Brady ... because he said yes to it, it's kind of like, unless you tell me things are off limits, I'm going to go there. I have license. I have your consent. … I can't believe the places my mind will go to."

Interview highlights

On performing offensive or mean jokes at roasts

I really do have to do kind of a cleanse after I write for a roast. Because my mind is in just such a bad place where I'm just constantly thinking the worst thing about someone, looking at pictures of them thinking, what is something I can think about them that is going to haunt them the rest of their life? Because I'm going to reveal it to everyone. It's a disgusting place to write from, but that's that's the job.

On being on the receiving end of roast cruelty

It was Cybill Shepherd at the roast of Bruce Willis, and she said "I saw Nikki before the show. I walked into the bathroom and I saw her from behind, and I go, 'Oh, my God, look at this model!' And then she turned around and I go, 'Oh, she's a comedian.' " And that really, that really stung because I have so many insecurities about my face and it's not good enough. And that's why I'm a comedian, is because I wish I could just be pretty. It's like, that one hurt and then the laughter that follows is … the kicker as well, where you just go, "Oh no, that might be true." …

You just put on a happy face, and then you don't think about it until the car ride home, when you're just, like, despondently looking out the window and everyone around you was like, "That was so amazing tonight!" And you're like, “But like the thing that Tony Hinchcliffe said, do you, like, think that comes from a real place?” … I've cried at, I think two out of the three roast after parties because of my feelings getting hurt. And then I also, after the roast of Bruce Willis, I got a ton of stuff injected in my face and laser stuff done to fix what Cybill saw.

On whether she thinks about being mean or tasteless in her comedy

I think that what I intend is just to say what's honest and what is funny to me. And it's always interesting to hear how people perceive or take in my comedy. … "Tasteless" is totally fine, but it is a word that no one aspires to be. But I can't refute it. …

I don't love people getting offended. I think sometimes, because of the nature of what I talk about, people think that I enjoy if people leave a show or are scoffing at things or groaning at things, and all I want is people to like me, really. And it's a weird approach to achieve that. It's worked in many aspects, but it's been a roundabout kind of way of getting there. But it really is the underlining motivation is — "Just like me!" — which I think is most comedians.

On doing comedy about sex because of her fear of it

Sex was always the scariest thing to me, was always the most interesting thing. I didn't have sex until I was 21. I didn't kiss a boy till I was 18, I think. I was scared of boys. I was scared of sex. I was in a constant battle with my body from the age of 17 on, of just not liking what it was and being ashamed of it. So I think immediately when I started doing stand-up [I] was attracted to those kinds of unspeakable things that I was just wondering why more people don't talk about [them], especially when it comes to sex.

On whether topics like rape or autism should be off limits because she personally hasn’t experienced them

I feel like I have a right to talk about rape because I definitely am fearful of it and it is something that could happen to me. But ... if someone is like, "I was offended by what you said," I'm just like, "Oh, yeah, yeah, I get that. I'm sorry." … If you have a panic attack on my show because I talk about a subject that is really close and personal to you and traumatized you, I'll give you your money back, or at least the part of the ticket that I made out of the money, because I don't want anyone to have a bad experience, but I definitely don't think that that's reason enough not to talk about these things. …

I do think that my jokes aren't meant to be cruel or make fun of anyone who's a victim or has a condition. … I don't want to offend anyone. … I don't understand this rule of 'you only get to talk about things that you've lived.' Because also, I am just a comedian. I might not have the right take. I'm not right about everything. And I'm not enacting change politically with my stand-up. It's just an entertainment thing. So for me to be taken so seriously that you said this thing, and it's offensive. It's like, well, I'm a clown. There's no requirements or courses I had to take. I have no certification for what I'm doing. So you shouldn't expect me to get everything right. And I am completely open to people saying, “Hey, you have the wrong take on this, and here's why.” And for me to adjust my joke to that, I have no problem with that.

On performing when she’s depressed

It's hard to perform when I'm really, really depressed. It's hard to get to the theater and to be backstage and to think, I'm about to go do this thing. I have to turn this on. But I will say, the second I step out there, the adrenaline kicks in and it will offer me relief. And then I'm able to be honest about it. That's the nice thing about doing stand up, because I don't have to perform the same songs every night or at the same play. I get to kind of say what I want to say, so I can kind of talk about it and work through it in that way. …

I think of depression as like getting a flu. And when I first get those sniffles or a little sore throat, like a little tingle in the back of my throat of depression, that's when I need to throw on some comedy. And it really does help. And I'm realizing that late in my life, actually, my depression is way more in check now.

Therese Madden and Thea Chaloner produced and edited this interview for broadcast. Bridget Bentz, Molly Seavy-Nesper and Clare Lombardo adapted it for the web.