A puzzling match made in the Marvel Cinematic Universe: Robert Downey Jr. as Dr. Doom

At San Diego Comic-Con over the weekend, Marvel Studios announced that Robert Downey Jr. would be returning to the Marvel Cinematic Universe in two upcoming films, Avengers: Doomsday and Avengers: Secret Wars, both of which will be directed by the Russo Brothers.

The twist: RDJ won’t be playing the very, very dead MCU lynchpin Tony Stark/Iron Man; instead, he will assay the role of iconic Marvel Comics villain Victor von Doom/Doctor Doom.

There’s every reason to suspect, given the current state of the MCU (read: a frothy bubbly stew of universes, timelines, variants and doppelgangers roiling together over medium-high heat), that there’s some logical narrative reason for the studio to turn to the guy who played Iron Man to play Doctor Doom, and that said reason goes somewhat deeper than “Hey lookit they both got metal masks!”

Fans, it will not surprise you, took to the internet to register their opinions on this announcement. Some were hopeful, many complained that it represented a creative step backward – little more than Marvel’s IP-generating machinery going into a multi-platform defensive crouch.

You and I, reader, can let others have their outsized reactions to what is, at this stage, a simple casting announcement. We, on the other hand, will approach this news more systematically.

A Stark contrast

If you’re old enough to remember when they announced that Robert Downey Jr. had been cast as Tony Stark (and you were nerdy enough back then to know who Tony Stark was), you will recall experiencing one and only reaction: Well, of course.

The affinities between Downey and Stark – swagger, sarcasm, a public history of substance abuse – made the pairing feel obvious, perfect, even somehow inevitable. A smarmy peg finding its smirking hole. Everything that came after – the rapid-patter asides, the tossed-off references, the charming insufferableness, the cheesy goatee – helped establish and grow the MCU.

Cut to last weekend’s announcement. I’d argue that the collective reaction we’re experiencing at this particular cultural moment is less a “Well, of course,” and more of a “Wait, what now?”

There’s a reason for that, and it has to do with the character of Doctor Doom himself. Robert Downey, Jr. slips into the persona of Tony Stark like a hand slips into a supple suede driving glove.

Conversely, Robert Downey, Jr. slips into the persona of Victor von Doom like a box of wax crayons slips into an industrial hydraulic press. We know that what happens next will be dramatic and colorful, yes. But it’s not the best use of those crayons, and someone’s gonna have to spend hours cleaning the damn press.

Don’t get me wrong: Downey, as an actor, is more than Stark. He’s played Chaplin, he’s played Sherlock Holmes, he just won an Oscar playing the entirely un-Tony-esque political schemer Lewis Strauss.

But still, there’s such a thing as an actor’s public persona, and how well it resonates with a given pre-established character. Or in this case, how it WOW very much does not.

Because Victor von Doom, as he exists in the comics, is a malicious, vengeful, power-hungry despot who dreams only of conquest. Laid back, he is not. Jokey, he is not.

Nor is he given to muttering obscure insults out of the side of his mouth, or enjoining his colleagues into action via AP-level pop culture references. He’s not louche, he doesn’t slouch, he’s not the kind of guy to whom the descriptor “suave” could ever conceivably attach, just as you’d never picture him cradling a whiskey in his hand.

No, Doctor Doom, supreme ruler of Latveria, stands erect, feet always far wider than shoulder-width apart. You often find him extending a fist or two in the air before him (the clenched nature of which effectively precludes whisky-cradling). He’s given to barking short, declarative statements. “Curses!” “Bah!” “Witless fool!” “Kneel!” “Kneel, witless fool!” That sort of thing.

Oh, and he refers to himself in the third person. That’s a very Doom thing.

But let’s attempt to approach this casting news from a dispassionate, analytical distance.

Below, I will list several classic actual Doctor Doom quotes lifted straight from the comics. Our job will be to determine together how easily we can imagine these quotes being declaimed by the beloved and multi-award-winning actor, Mr. Robert Downey Jr.

We will use a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “Nope, sorry, cannot remotely imagine” to 10 being “No hard feelings, Point Break; you got a mean swing.”

How Easily Can You Imagine RDJ Saying …

“Dolts! Such insolence will not go unpunished!” - Astonishing Tales Vol. 1, 4

The arrogance fits, but the vocabulary sure doesn’t. “Dolts” is far too basic an insult; RDJ would slap a pop-culture spin on top of it. “Hey, Dumb and Dumber,” maybe. But even then, it’s a stretch.

Three out of 10.

“The Mighty Avengers! BAH!” - Super-Villain Team-Up Vol. 1, 9

Any way you care to slice it, “BAH!” is just a really tough sentiment to express with a straight face these days. (More’s the pity!) And RDJ’s factory default setting to ironic detachment certainly won’t help in this endeavor.

Two out of 10.

“Only Doom dares to dream! All others serve!” - Iron Man Vol. 1, 102

Wow, harsh. Too harsh to believe coming out of the mouth of such a charming, voluble rogue.

Two out of 10. 

“This game shall soon reach its inevitable conclusion – and the final triumph shall belong to Doctor Doom!” - Fantastic Four: World’s Greatest Comic Magazine Vol. 1, 3

Again, it’s not the sentiment, per se, it’s the arch, elevated language it’s couched in. RDJ doesn’t say “shall” when “will” will do.

Four out of 10.

“Yes! Doom’s will be done – in the heavens as it is on Earth!” - Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 6, 17

Can’t picture RDJ coming out and stating his intent so flatly. Where’s the sidelong charm, the flirtatiousness, the disarming wit? The quote’s got plenty of swagger – too much, arguably – but swagger needs to be backed up by charisma for it to work. Now, it could be argued that RDJ’s got buckets and buckets of charisma. So I dunno. Maybe under a set of very specific conditions, he could pull it off?

Five out of 10?

“Fools! I am Doom the Destroyer! I have broken worlds to taunt you! I have shattered universes to mock you! I have taken what is yours and made it mine! Face me at your own peril, if you dare face me at all!” - New Avengers Vol. 3, 33

Well I mean “Fools!” is less archaic than “Dolts!” but not by much. This quote is just a litany of gloating, and while you can certainly imagine RDJ negging you at a bar, he’d never do it so baldly.

One out of 10.