There are nights where you’ve come home I’m sure, Dear Reader, and you don’t look at the calories on the back of the container you opened for dinner because ... well, you just wanted to have what you pulled out of the fridge.
That was me and the big package of macaroni and cheese when I got home Tuesday night.
I’m also sure there are times and places where your stomach tightens up going to a location for whatever the reason.
That was me driving and arriving at Apalachee Tuesday afternoon for a story you’ll see in a week or so on “Football Fridays in Georgia.” For the fifth time in seven years, the school won the “Cooperative Spirit Sportsmanship Award” from Jackson EMC. When you head to the football field, as we did, it looked like a normal afternoon with Apalachee, Trinity Christian, and Grayson set to play each other in flag football- a first-ever for the home team, by the way...
But the afternoon wasn’t normal and you know it’s not. It was the first day Apalachee High had students on campus for classes. It was only a half-day. But it was a half-day closer to a traditional school day for teachers and students.
Whatever the word “traditional” means going forward.
When I saw Athletic Director/Assistant Principal Ralph Neeley, and I’ll admit it had been a while, we pointed at each other and gave each other a long hug. I think it was the first of four we gave each other during the visit. Each one was long and each one meant a lot. Over the past few weeks, there are folks who don’t want to intrude. There are folks that think waiting is the best behavior knowing the person at the other end is, probably, either really busy, or in no mood to talk ... or a combination of both depending on the day.
That’s what I thought, anyway ... sometimes the best thing to do, we think, is leave someone to their own and there will be a “right time” to catch up. We get that chance now with those we love and care deeply about as things are now in the “different.”
Some athletic programs at Apalachee have had the chance to play, some not, and football is one of those that hasn’t yet. They’re still scheduled to this week, but the final decision is still out there.
“I think for a lot of our kids, this was their first true experience of love and community. So, I can't be more proud of our community,” Coach Neeley tells me. “I mean, they have put their arms around us in so many different ways and you know, it's good. It's good. Our community is behind us 100 percent. And the outpouring from outside the community?
“I mean, it's not every day that you get to catch up with a billion-dollar movie star, those kinds of things or get to flip coins for the Atlanta Falcons pregame kickoff. That's amazing. I was thinking about that and talking with my wife about that. It's overwhelming to think that the Atlanta Braves, Atlanta United, Atlanta Falcons, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Jelly Roll, Josh Heupel ... I mean, we could go on and on, Roger Goodell ... We got to meet with him. He was so impressive, so impressive, and sincere.
“But I think the underlying message there is how important coaches are. And I think you know, almost everybody in those businesses has the same story like that of the coaches. They've made a big difference in their lives and so they can relate and it resonates- that we feel their joy and we feel their pain because they feel ours.
“So, it's pretty neat. But it puts us all of us kind of together the same way.”
There were a handful of television stations doing live shots from the other side of the street from Apalachee High to document this point in time of the “different.” Principal Jessica Rehberg feels blessed to be where she is with her job -- especially on a day like Tuesday.
“We have an amazing community. We have the best kids and to have them all in one place instead of worrying about them or hearing about them from afar is the most healing part. It helps us all process together, being together and having them back in the building, being able to check on them, hug them and love on them and even teach them something is all the power that this community really needs to actually heal for this year.”
Was it surreal to be there? Odd? Strange? All of that ... those were the first words that came to mind for me- the outsider. But, for Coach Neeley?
“I don't know what adjective to use with that,” he says. “It's wonderful to see our kids smiling, you know ... Smiling and having a good time. They need it so bad. But in the back of your mind, there's a balance. Because we have four families that are not going to be able to...”
“I have used that word- surreal- a few times,” Principal Rehberg says. “It's also incredibly calming to walk back in the hallways. I find myself unable to leave the building sometimes because it's home. It's what brings me joy and community and so it certainly is surreal. But it's also a positive, beautiful, beloved place. We have an amazing school, not just as a business, but the physical building. And we fill it with wonderful people.”
In catching up with Coach Neeley, I wondered about the idea of being around just to understand, empathize, and wonder how to help even if you don’t know what to say or how to say it. There’s always the idea of meaning well and not saying it the right way or holding back and not saying anything at all. He offered a thought.
“A lot of times the best thing to do is just be present,” he tells me. “Be involved and not say a word. I was able to address Habersham Central softball team after we played Thursday night and thank them for just simply coming and playing softball with us. It was such a big, big step for all girls in the healing process. We couldn’t have done it without them.
“They were just here being present. Like these flag football girls, just be here and be present and that helps. We've had those conversations with our coaches who are having those conversations with their teams. And we know now what we’re going to be known for and we understand that.
“Every person that we come across can relate with the fear and the pain and the joy when we have those steps because they're all involved with athletics too. We were so appreciative of everybody reaching out and they've been great about meeting some requests about ‘Can we do this after the game to try to limit some emotions...? Can we do this at some other time?’ And they've been wonderful, absolutely wonderful with scheduling. Everybody's been so flexible with us.”
And as I left, I reminded myself that The Boss told me to tell everyone there that we loved them and that we were thinking about them. I hope I did that right.
And that is something we should be totally inflexible about...
Play it safe, everyone... I’ll talk to you soon...
