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Working from home allowed him to be a more engaged dad. Now it’s over
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Return-to-office policies are getting stricter, upending the lives of those who had gotten used to working from home.
Employers are stepping up the number of days their employees need to show up in person, arguing it promotes stronger social connections, better collaboration and fairness in the workplace. A survey last year by the professional services firm KPMG found two-thirds of CEOs predicting a full return to office by 2026.
In the city of Philadelphia, it's already happening.
This summer, the city's new mayor Cherelle Parker made good on her promise to give residents a government they could "see, touch and feel," ordering all municipal employees back to the office five days a week.
On July 15, several thousand city workers bid farewell to the hybrid work schedules they'd had since 2020 and returned to their daily commutes.
Remote work was a pipe dream until it became the new normal
For Andrew DiDonato, who reviews residential building permits for Philadelphia's Licenses and Inspections Department, the commute is 45 minutes to an hour each way, depending on train delays.
He'd been doing that two days a week until last month. The other three days, DiDonato worked from home.
It was a schedule he never would have thought possible before the pandemic, when remote work was something people would joke about.
"Like the pipe dream of flying cars," he says.
As luck would have it, his department was ready to go fully online when the pandemic hit. Just two days before COVID briefly shuttered its offices in March 2020, the city rolled out a new online permitting system, which had been in the works for years. Instead of having to come in to apply for permits, residents could now do everything online.
The timing couldn't have been better for him and for the city's residents, all stuck in their homes.
"Within months, everyone was using it," says DiDonato.
He quickly found he could do his job just fine on a hybrid schedule.
What he discovered he was doing better was parenting. It was a revelation.
Freed from the daily commute, DiDonato no longer had to leave the house every morning before the kids were awake.
That opened up more options for his wife Ashley, who’d stayed home since their third child was born. She got a part-time job working early mornings at a fitness center.
"It was one of those moments where something perfect falls in your lap," she says. "It was exactly what I needed."
Being around for breakfast, homework, afterschool clubs
Now it was Dad who got the mornings going, getting the kids up, feeding them breakfast and talking about the day ahead.
"All those extra conversations I get to have with my kids during those little moments I was gone for," says DiDonato. "I'm hearing about what they're concerned with about school, what they're excited for."
At the end of the work day, instead of the tiresome train ride home, he was helping with homework and volunteering with after-school clubs. His oldest, 10-year-old Rosalie, joined the school play, the musical Moana Junior.
Drawing on his years in construction, DiDonato built Moana's boat for the set.
"It was a real life-sized boat," says Rosalie, beaming at her dad.
The family got used to this more balanced life.
"It wasn’t something we had for a couple weeks or a couple months," says DiDonato. "It was four years."
And now, it’s gone. With DiDonato back in the office full-time, Ashley has had to cut back her hours at the fitness center and pick up a Sunday shift.
"We’re forced back into these systems that are no longer working for us," she says. "It feels like it’s taking a step backwards."
City leaders embrace a different philosophy
In Philadelphia, city officials acknowledged the return-to-office decision wasn't driven by concerns about productivity. Rather, it was in pursuit of what they called a leadership philosophy.
Mayor Parker has cited the many thousands of city employees — sanitation workers, social workers, the water department — who never had the ability to work from home.
"I need us all right now to make a sacrifice for our city," she said at a press conference this summer.
Parker has also made clear she wants the city’s return-to-office plan to be a model for private-sector employers, part of her effort to make a more economically vibrant Philadelphia.
"That’s the ultimate goal," she said.
"Can't put the toothpaste back in the tube."
This leaves DiDonato at a crossroads.
He's worked for the city for seven years and likes his job. It comes with some pretty great benefits, including health care for the family, a free train pass and a pension to look forward to.
But these days, he's asking himself: Is all that worth the cherished family time he’s giving up? After living the hybrid life for four years, he’s not sure he can go without.
"It’s one of those things where you can’t put the toothpaste back in tube," he says.
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